PARENT EDUCATION GUIDELINES

The Education of a Montessori Parent

"What did you do at school today?" This question is of great concern to parents. As a Montessori parent, I have asked it often. And often, I have gotten an unsatisfying answer...something like, "Nothing!" or "I don't know!" or "Umm..." Sometimes more information has been volunteered..."We had a good snack today," or "We got to go outside on the playground," or "Carol threw up!" And then I find myself thinking, "But those things aren't important. I want to know what IMPORTANT things you did! What sounds did you learn? Were you a discipline problem? Did you make any new friends? How many numbers did you count?" In other words, did you show any sign of progress on what I see as your needs/faults/social adjustment/math skills, etc.? Are we getting our money's worth? The answers to my questions come all too seldom when coming from my child.

Without considerable help, I probably would never have understood what my child was doing at school. Before the school was ever formed, I was introduced to the idea that my role was not to engineer my child's education according to my mental picture of what I think my child should become. I am to "look at the child", and trust that the inner spirit of the individual-in-progress will develop itself to its highest potential if it is provided the right environment. My role is not to mould the child; it is to shape carefully the environment.

This perception of the parental role is quite a contrast to the commonly accepted idea of adult as creator and shaper of the child. Can it really be true that a child wants to perfect himself and that this process is not dependent on my superior knowledge, motivation or coercion?

But yes, it is true. The proof came to me in observation of my child's classroom. Here the children were not coerced, but were motivated from within to all kinds of industrious, productive activity. They put things away. They were helpful and happy, rather than contentious. In fact, they were exhibiting behaviour identical to that which I had been trying to elicit.

As a parent, I began to have a new outlook on my work; prepare the proper environment and the child will work by herself toward her own self-perfection. Instead of "motivating" her, I tried to observe and respond to her interests. I tried to replace lecturing on good manners by surrounding her with good manners. I began to see ways of removing the physical obstacles to activity that were imposed by her living in an adult-sized and adult-paced world. Montessori said, "If we had to live just one day in an environment such as the one we prepare for our children, I believe we would find it painfully uncomfortable." That quote made a big impression. How much more loving, kind, agreeable, (and challenging!) is this outlook. And how much more effective!

What I learned about the Montessori philosophy was verified when I visited the Montessori classroom, at parent conferences and in constant open communication with the teachers and directress. Montessori theory was related directly to my child. My understanding of what my child does at school has been greatly changed. She does much more than simply learn to read, write or count. She is CONSTRUCTING A HUMAN BEING in an environment carefully prepared for just that purpose. In that context, letters learned or papers completed are only tangible symbols of something much bigger that is occurring. By understanding the child's inner drive toward self-perfection, I can perhaps provide a more supportive environment at home. There is no question that I've gotten more than my money's worth!

Source: Reprint of an Article by Karen Koch